My personal ER outlandish oddities

Ok. Here is a few I can think of real quick, and yes these are REAL from my own personal experience. I work nights in a Hospital, and have for MANY years now. (Warning, these can be rated R)

Girl comes to the ER because she has no feeling from her knees down on both her legs….because she was chocked too hard while having sex in a motel

Guy comes to the ER because he can’t defecate….because he has three granny apples stuck up his ass. On a side note, this guy is a “repeat offender” in the ER and is continually sticking things up his ass. Straight to OR with that one.

Kid comes to the ER because she cant hear out of her right ear….because her brother somehow stuck part of a Matchbox car in her ear. Straight to OR with that one.

A guy comes to the ER because he says his penis looks like an “octopus”. In the room next to him a girl is in the ER because she said she had sex with her boyfriend who’s penis looked like a “octopus”.

A guy in his 70’s comes to the ER because he swallowed an 8 inch long dildo. Whole.

Teenager comes to the ER for attempted suicide….because his mom took his Cellphone away as a punishment.

I’ll add more when I think of some.