REVIEW: Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023)

Movie Reviews

Hollywood loves to capitalize on a holiday, and none more than Halloween. Doubtless, this has to do with horror movies being cheap to make and the fan base demanding little more than a few scares – or, barring that, at least some gore and entertaining kills. That makes Five Nights at Freddy’s an enigma because it doesn’t have any of that, yet it’s poised for a big weekend and, if the teenybopper audience at my screening is any indication, it’s being  welcomed with open arms by its target demographic.

Still reeling from a childhood tragedy, Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson) is fired from a mall security job, the latest in a long line of failed work experiences. Desperate to maintain custody of his young sister Abby (Piper Rubio), Mike takes a thankless gig guarding the remains of Freddy Fazbear’s, a defunct arcade and pizzeria in the vein of Chuck E. Cheese. But something strange is going on with the animatronic animals at Freddy’s, and soon, Mike is having vivid dreams involving a bunch of spooky kids while Abby makes some eerie drawings.

I’m coming to Five Nights at Freddy’s cold; I’ve never played any of the video games in the series, so I don’t know how closely the movie adaptation sticks to the source material. Scott Cawthon, the creator of the games, is one of the writers, so I imagine it’s at least somewhat faithful to their spirit, but again, I can’t be sure. I will say that a certain character’s name got a big round of applause when it was mentioned, so take from that what you will.

Five Nights at Freddy’s surprised me because, despite the game’s terrifying reputation, the film is pretty tame. It’s rated PG-13, and you’ll never mistake it for an R; there’s no gore outside of a few quick splashes of (very little) blood, and most of the kills happen off-screen. This doesn’t work in the movie’s favor; a concept as silly as this needs something to keep the horror buoyant, and that’s either gore or suspense, neither of which Five Nights at Freddy’s produces. It tries for the latter, but it never manages to generate much tension, relying on telegraphed jump scares and ominous notes in the score as characters look down long hallways. None of this amounts to anything in the way of horror, and for much of its runtime, the movie is dull.

The exception is the animatronics, which are very well done. Five Nights at Freddy’s has some excellent special effects, with the decaying animal robots looking almost zombie-like as they move and emote. If you’ve ever been to Chuck E. Cheese or anything of the sort, you know that these things are off-putting to begin with, and the film not only captures that innate creepiness but adds an otherworldly menace to them with the creature designs. Little details like a missing eye or torn torsos that reveal bits of rusty mechanical skeletons do wonders to make the robots feel undead despite never having been alive. But the movements always feel real, and it’s easy to buy into a world where dancing bears and ducks come to ghostly life.

The same can’t be said for the lead. Five Nights at Freddy’s makes an admirable attempt to humanize its protagonist by giving Mike a backstory that not only adds characterization but informs his motives and arc in the film. But Josh Hutcherson fails to capitalize on that; he’s bereft of personality, and he seems to sleepwalk through the part, never making our entryway into this world come alive. You can argue that this was a deliberate choice because Mike is essentially sleepwalking through his life, unable to escape a traumatic childhood event, but I don’t buy it. You can convey that while making your character feel like an actual person, but Hutcherson doesn’t. Mike is a cipher for all the wrong reasons, and he sucks the air out of the film.

The supporting characters are a little better, but not by much. Abby, Mike’s little sister, is silent and withdrawn, seeming to dislike Mike, until she takes a quick turn and is suddenly more loving towards him. A plot point explains this, but it never quite feels right; it’s more like the movie needed her to change, so she does. And Vanessa, a beat cop who befriends Mike and seems to know more about Freddy Fazbear’s than she’s letting on, is so obviously off that you spend every scene she’s in waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fortunately, actresses Piper Rubio and Elizabeth Lail are at least trying, and they’re a lot more entertaining in their roles than Josh Hutcherson. But the human element of Five Nights at Freddy’s never comes together like it should.

Nothing else about Five Nights at Freddy’s is engaging. Aside from Mike’s backstory, the plot is simplistic and meandering, with nothing much happening for most of the film. A subplot about Mike’s aunt (Mary Stuart Masterson) trying to get custody of Abby exists solely to up the kill count, but since all the violence happens off-screen, it’s not as satisfying as it should have been. The identity of the main villain is so obvious they may as well have put it on the poster. The soundtrack features a couple of 80s songs, and while they fit with the setting, they don’t add much to the ambiance. Ultimately, it’s a flat, listless movie that doesn’t scare or entertain.