More Christmas Leftovers: Another Five Christmas-Adjacent Movies
Last year, I wrote about what I called Christmas-adjacent movies, five films that took place at Christmas but didn’t quite qualify as full-fledged Christmas Movies. As it happens, there are quite a few films like this, many of which are great. So, here are another five flicks, in chronological order, to enjoy after Christmas without feeling guilty for not getting to them sooner.
First Blood (1982)
“Don’t push it. Don’t push it, or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe.”
Vietnam veteran John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) returns to an America he doesn’t understand, having been traumatized by the horrors of war and finding the society he gave so much to protect hostile to his very presence. When a small-town sheriff (Brian Dennehy) warns him to leave, Rambo refuses and is arrested. What follows is an explosion of pent-up anger and resentment from a hero cast aside by his country, with Rambo going to war with the police department, surviving in the Washington wilderness, and ultimately striking out against a nation that threw away the gift brave men fought and died to give them.
First Blood takes place at Christmastime, but it isn’t a major part of the movie. We only know it’s the Season because of some Christmas decorations in the town, including a Christmas Tree in the police station. The point of setting First Blood at Christmas is to reinforce the peace and normalcy of polite society, which Rambo is about to shatter in his desperation to be left alone. That seems like a contradiction, but the larger point is that Rambo is striking back at a society that has forgotten its principles, that won’t let a man go where he wants because he is free. He’s tearing down a civilization that no longer deserves the peace he and others like him gave it, the peace to enjoy Christmas undisturbed. However, this is a very small part of the film, and one I never remember till I watch it again.
The Package (1989)
“Everybody pays me. I’m a public servant.”
After a violent confrontation in Berlin, Army sergeant Johnny Gallagher (Gene Hackman) is ordered to escort another sergeant, Walter Henke (Tommy Lee Jones), to the US, where he will face a court martial for decking a superior officer. When they arrive in Washington DC, Gallagher is knocked out in the bathroom at Dulles Airport, and Henke escapes. Searching for his missing “package,” Gallagher uncovers a massive military conspiracy involving nuclear disarmament talks, a neo-Nazi group, a black ops commander (John Heard), and an increasing series of murders, and must team up with his ex-wife (Joanna Cassidy) and an old friend (Dennis Franz) to stop it.
Whenever someone asks me to name an underappreciated movie, my go-to answer is The Package. I love this film, a criminally forgotten conspiracy thriller from Andrew Davis, the director of The Fugitive, Under Siege, Above the Law, and Code of Silence. I won’t say any more about the plot than I already have; part of the fun is watching it unfold as Hackman puts the pieces of the conspiracy together bit by bit. But I highly recommend you seek it out. Like First Blood, this is a movie I forget is set at Christmas until I watch it again, and the reminders are scant and relegated to the background; Christmas carols are sung as Tommy Lee Jones makes his way down the streets of Chicago, and houses are decorated for the coming of Santa Claus before the encroaching evil disrupts the festivities. You could stretch it a bit and say that the nuclear disarmament talks are happening as people are celebrating peace on Earth, but the truth is, Christmas is happenstance in this one.
The Last Boy Scout (1991)
“Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You’re gonna lose. Smile, you fuck.”
Private eye Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) is scraping through a miserable life, picking up the pieces of a destroyed career, living with an unfaithful wife (Chelsea Field) and disrespectful daughter (Danielle Harris), and taking solace only in beer and cigarettes. But when a buddy (Bruce McGill) hands him a job protecting a stripper (Halle Berry), Hallenbeck is soon teamed up with her boyfriend, disgraced former quarterback Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), and the two find themselves running from squads of mercenaries and trying to figure out who wants the girl dead and why. Bullets and one-liners fly as Hallenbeck kills his way to the truth.
What’s this? A Shane Black flick that doesn’t count as a Christmas movie? Yep, kind of. The Last Boy Scout is fantastic, up there with my favorite Bruce Willis and Tony Scott films, and it’s got all of writer Black’s trademarks: the unlikely allies, the relentlessly snappy dialogue, the shoot-outs, the car chases, the killer known only by his first name (Milo, played by late comedian Taylor Negron), the fallen heroes seeking redemption. It’s also set at Christmas, as is Black’s wont, but this time, Christmas is much less a factor than in, say, Lethal Weapon or The Long Kiss Goodnight. Aside from a Christmas Tree in the Hallenbeck home and a drawing of a demented creature called “Satan Claus,” there’s not a hint of the Christmas Spirit to be found. You can see that as a bummer or take heart that it means you can watch The Last Boy Scout whenever you want with impunity, getting a taste of Shane Black throughout the year.
The Bourne Identity (2002)
“I swear to God, if I even feel somebody behind me, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep.”
A fishing boat rescues a man (Matt Damon) floating in the Mediterranean Sea. He’s been shot. He speaks several languages. He has a Swiss bank account number implanted in his hip. He can fight like a ninja. And he has amnesia. Soon, he discovers that his name is Jason Bourne, and when he attempts to enter the US embassy, government officials try to arrest him. (I say “try” because… remember the ninja stuff?) Now, he’s on the run through Europe with a German drifter (Franka Potente), facing a series of assassins as he tries to put his past together.
It took me a while to warm to The Bourne Identity. I’m a big Robert Ludlum fan, and I discovered the books not long before the movie was released, so I was not well pleased with the massive liberties taken in translating the story to the screen. (For a closer adaptation, check out the miniseries from the 80s with Richard Chamberlain.) But time and perspective allowed me to accept the differences and enjoy a fantastic movie series on its own terms, perhaps in part because, after the first maybe fifteen minutes of The Bourne Identity, the films are so radically different from the novels they might as well be something else entirely. Like the previous entries on this list, The Bourne Identity takes place at Christmastime, but the evidence for that is scarce; the US embassy is decorated with garland and lights, and when Bourne and Marie arrive at her brother’s country house, the Christmas Tree is up. That’s about it.
Red (2010)
“If anything happens to Sarah, I will rip everything you love out of your life. And then, I’ll kill you.”
Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is a retired CIA operative who spends his days flirting with the woman on the customer service line of his pension program (Mary-Louise Parker). But when a kill squad shows up at his house to terminate him, Moses must go back into action to find out who wants him dead and why, taking his crush along with him to keep her from his enemies. Along the way, he links up with a bunch of his old friends: nursing home resident Joe Matheson (Morgan Freeman), burnt-out survivalist Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich), British sharpshooter Victoria Winslow (Helen Mirren), and Russian agent Ivan Simanov (Brian Cox).
Red is non-stop fun from beginning to end, with plenty of action and comedy, a nice message about the value of older generations, and a sweet romance at its center. The whole cast is terrific, but John Malkovich and Helen Mirren are the standouts, both hysterically funny and entirely game to let their hair down and kill some bad guys. Karl Urban, Rebecca Pidgeon, Richard Dreyfuss, and Ernest Borgnine show up in smaller roles, and not one of them is wasted. Red is also the film on this list with the most Christmas imagery; the opening scenes amusingly show Bruce Willis trying to emulate his neighbors’ Christmas decorations, and a later scene in Urban’s home uses the family aspect of the Season to chilling effect. It’s still entirely in the background, but it gives Red a bit of flavor amid the jokes and the shoot-outs.
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If you’ve never seen any of these films, I hope you’ll give them a try as you play with your new presents, recover from visiting relatives, and live off of leftovers in the week leading to New Year’s.
