Neckbeards Slay the Dragon

Entertainment

Being a neckbeard ain’t so bad.

There are three kinds of people in our space of Geeks + Gamers: neckbeards, pussies, and asshole activists.

Gamergate 2.0 started harmlessly enough. Wolverine is six feet tall now, and Deadpool is a pivotal piece of the Marvel Universe. SWEET! Give us more of this shit! 

Then, the M-She-U started to be a thing.

It’s time for us to grow up. It’s time for us nerdy neckbeards to be more open to the slanders and the shamings. It’s time for you to do better, gamer. 

Behind all this wishy-washy moralism and cries for acceptance and equity were plain-as-day notes of their own greed and hate. 

You were a neckbeard for thinking a five-foot-nothing scrawny goofball kicking a 250-pound sack of highly trained muscle across the room killed the realism. You were a neckbeard for calling out the power disparities of characters in post-modern films and source materials.

And year after year, these “harmless” empowerments to an “expanding audience” started to creep their way into reality, hastened by investments from secretive global financial cabals. Now intersectionals were being worshiped in the workplace, in the caves under the basement where the neckbeards piece together these digital experiences in the dark. Here, with no fanfare, for peanuts on the dollar, with no praise or accolades, the passionate neckbeards toiled long into the night for love of the genre, love of the game, and pieced together all the bits of geekdom that the subversives so happily stole over these wasted years.

After decades of the social stigmas, the petty attacks, the social others, the false accusations, what was the reward for the keepers of the nerd flame who labored for so long to show the world how wondrous geekdom was, that it knew no race, creed, or ideology, and were so overjoyed to see the culture at large finally seeing the fun of superheroes, dwarfs, elves, and men? A dagger to the eye.

Every refuge for nerds was subverted, monetized, and weaponized, made bastions of postmodern progressivism, hate, greed, and moral authority in an incestuous orgy of incompetence and hubris among degenerate moralists and capitalists. 

We are living in the era of subversion. All that is right and true is inverted. Chivalry was to go out when there was danger, to put yourself on the line, and to fight for what is true and right. The postmodern feminists and CEOs now demand you bend over, that you submit to the modern woke ideology. Real men cower to their betters! Real men don’t care about those women on the screen; they don’t give a damn about the coming generations, they don’t stand for anything, they don’t seek to protect our culture, our norms. They’re racists, bigots, sexists! They’re neckbeards! Year after year, they became the true enemy of gaming, the end boss of all end bosses. They became a cultural dragon, stealing away all the wondrous treasures and hoarding for themselves in their evil lair of contention.

Neckbeards fuck the dragon, Chuck. When the vile elements of division overtake our society, when the smarmy jerks and the greedy corporate types collude to sunder our society at any cost, when meritocracy falls and our very existence is threatened by the inanity of emerging nonsense. It’s the “neckbeard”  that stands up and says, “No, Captain Marvel is an asshole, and so are you.”

It wasn’t the incestuous circle jerk of greed alone that did geekdom in. It wasn’t the ramblings of the Anita Sarkeesians of the world.  It was when they got in bed with one another that their slights and self-fulfilling ambitions combined into the ravenous beast of woke we see today. 

They thought they had found a way of subverting having to make a decent darned game, of guilting, shaming, and stirring the pot towards making a profit, absolving themselves of the duty to create entertainment of meaning and value. For decades these guys lounged on their yachts, tired to death of having to take a gamble on this or that annoying neckbeard. Here were rambunctious little activists willing to salivate over sweet little nothings with the promise of never-ending profits stroking their egos, and they succumbed with righteous enthusiasm. 

Part 2:

Mark Kern explains how ESG money comes with strings attached inside corporations and is used to make companies partner with DEI consulting companies like Sweet Baby Inc:

"Everyone needs to realize is that it's not that these Studios are funding the games out of their… pic.twitter.com/uMj6GslJEg

— James Lindsay, number one Gay Studies author (@ConceptualJames) March 11, 2024

The jocks, the intellectuals,  and the virtue-signalers all look down on the neckbeards, their whipping boys: the geeks and the gamers. But whether they like it or not, they need us. 

Who else is going to make the nerdy nothings for them to attack, to subvert? Who else is going to tinker in a cave, creating fun technologies to create the phones and media platforms for them to scream their moral superiority?

What these do-nothings do not comprehend is that they will never create something new. Like locusts, they fly to the next field, bustling and brimming with delicious fruits stemming from a lifetime of service and hard labor to the mediums of geekdom. And they set upon it believing their ravenous gluttony and self-fulfillment will usher in the golden age. 

These plagues of postmodern do-gooders never change. In their infinite naïveté, they believe their knee-jerk, petulant attempts at ushering in the golden age have never been tried before. They are the first activists to weasel their way into the levers of power and impose their “creative vision” on the world.

It’s easy to piss hateful feelings of petulant entitlement into a work. It’s easy to swear and cast negativity and feelings of inequality. Hissy fits and tantrums are a dime a dozen, pedestrian.

The problem is that, for too long, we had it too good. The true visionaries and hardworking talents of Hollywood and tech gatekept the moralists and money-grubbing jocks for generations. And in this space, where quality entertainment was able to blot out the garbage cultivated by aggressive subversives, we collectively forgot what truly garbage games and movies were. It became exciting to think about the possibilities of putting petulant, whining sexism and bigotry back into media.

Take heart, fellow neckbeards. If someone calls you a misogynist, a geek, a nerd, or a bully, it just means you care. It means there’s a part of your brain still functioning that they haven’t been able to get to yet. It means you still have some SAC! Whether that sac be full of testosterone-filled balls that have fueled your conquest of endless fallen foes in Halo and Counterstrike, or if they’re geeked-up ovaries that have done the very same!

Take the slander from the Matt Walshs, the Anita Sarkeesians, the Neil Cuckmans as a badge of honor. You’ve survived the longest and hardest-fought psy-op in human history. After their endless canceclings, the endless monetary manipulations, the endless shame campaigns… you still have your sac.

We salute you, neckbeard.