REVIEW: The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power – Season 2, Episode 1, “Elven Kings Under the Sky”

Television Reviews

***DISCLAIMER***

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS AND MUCH FURY IMBUED IN THE TEXT THROUGHOUT THE READING OF THIS REVIEW. 

Season 2 of The Rings of Power begins in Forodwaith during the dawn of the Second Age. In an ice fortress located far north of the Iron Hills is Sauron, standing before a crowd of Orcs, Adar amongst them, giving a speech after the defeat of his master, Morgoth, telling them that he will be their new ruler. Sauron informs the Orcs that they will have a better life and be free to go where they please in this new world he wishes to create. He tells them that in the process, many of them will die and that “No one will accept you, but I will,” and thus has Adar bring forth the spiky crown of iron. They all proclaim Sauron their lord and ruler as the former kneels down to accept. Adar holds up the crown for a few seconds, then suddenly flips it over and stabs Sauron in the back with it. Many Orcs assail him, which leads to his “death,” and that causes a giant blast wave very similar to the one in Peter Jackson’s Fellowship of the Ring prologue, where Isildur slices the fingers of Sauron off. 

His body vanishes, yet in its place is a thick, black goo that drips deep into the depths of the underground.“The Blob” Sauron begins to consume random creatures, from a rat to a centipede—yes, a centipede. The scene changes are utterly terrible, cutting to black to show the same scene that was probably done to show the passage of time. “The Blob” Sauron emerges from the mountains in a scene that one could perceive as birth, or in this case, “rebirth,” but it also brings to mind the opening scene of The Two Towers before it pans to Gandalf fighting the Balrog. “The Blob” Sauron then happens upon a random woman driving her cart down a road, and the wheel runs him over. He attaches to it, then goes in to consume the woman and becomes Halbrand. 

Halbrand magically knows where all the Orcs are and heads there, but on the way, he meets a band of humans fleeing said Orcs. He meets “Platitude Man,” a Southerner who is kind enough to him. Then, suddenly, he’s on a ship sailing off somewhere. This is the very same ship that’s attacked by the sea monster in season 1, which Halbrand actually sees when he’s tossed into the sea but is left unscathed. Miraculously, he finds the very raft that a few survivors have gathered on and—guess what? The show reminds the audience that Halbrand and Guyladriel met in the middle of the ocean after her “little swim.”

So this indicates her thousand-year search for Sauron was within the same timeline, yet she just missed him. 

Cut to Lindon in the current time with yet another repurposed scene. Guyladriel is chasing Elrond, reaching for the pouch in which the three rings sit, yelling for him to give them to her. Many may recall a similar scene of Arwen in The Fellowship of the Ring where the Nazgul are chasing her and Frodo, one of them reaching sinisterly for the latter. This scene goes on for longer than necessary, and suddenly, Elrond disappears. Guyladriel backtracks to find him, then comes face to face with Elven guards who tell her that Elrond has told them to take her to the king. 

Good luck keeping up with this timeline. 

High King Gil-galad “reprimands” her for keeping the truth of who Halbrand was from the rest. She, of course, dances around the question, then switches randomly to a butchered Elvish, but the king answers in English. Elrond then lashes back at her for being dense enough to be fooled by Sauron, to which her response is, “I was deceived.” Elrond’s reply to this is, “No, you were blinded. Blinded by your own pride.” More like thirsty… for the Dark Lord himself. Guyladriel spits back at Elrond about his “failure” in Khazad-dûm, which… how she knows that when she was not even around is unclear, nor is it clear if she was even told previously. 

Now, the king demands Elrond give him the rings, but the latter refuses, saying they could be corrupted. This is not at all in line with the actual lore, where the rings given to the other races did not possess any sort of corruption, yet they act as though these rings are the same as The One Ring. 

Gil-galad again demands the rings, and Elrond gives the same answer as before. Guards move in around him, Guyladriel speaks the butchered Elvish again, and Elrond does the one thing left to do: jump off a cliff. Never mind that elves, though bestowed long lives, can still die. It’s been written that they are just as susceptible to death by falling from heights, being stabbed in the gut, or fiery explosions, just as any human.

Cut to the next scene, and it’s Mordor again. Halbrand has been enslaved along with several other Southerners who are being forced to swear allegiance to Adar and branded with a hot iron with the Mark of Sauron, which is the map of Mordor. Halbrand is brought before Adar and attempts to make a deal with him, saying he will help him find Sauron if he “lets his people go.” Halbrand continues, saying that he will create a weapon that will possess the power to allow Sauron to use Adar’s “children” in his army to defeat their enemy. So, if he lets everyone go, he will tell Adar where “the sorcerer” is so he can destroy him. The response to this plan is no, and that Adar will “make him wish he was already dead,” to which Halbrand says, “You cannot kill me.” 

Now, back to “The Stranger,” or “Totally Not Gandalf,” even though there were no wizards in the Second Age. He’s dreaming of a staff which, when he grasps it in the dream, shows him flashes of random visions. Then it cuts to the day where he and Nori (female Frodo) are wandering about in a desert in the Rhûn, although it was specifically stated in the lore that Gandalf NEVER traveled there. Nori complains they’ve run out of food and asks The Stranger if he can use his magic to make some for them. This causes him pause, being that the last time he did, he was ostracized by the Harfoots, but in the end, he performs some, which explodes one of the dead trees near them, causing many bugs to come pouring out of it. At night, as they feast on creepy crawlies, they discover they’re suddenly being followed and decide to set a trap. Sound familiar? 

The scene then goes back to Halbrand being threatened to be set upon by a Warg unless he tells the vagabond-looking man who, in the first season, turned the “key” that was Sauron’s sword to create the volcano that created Mordor in an afternoon, where Sauron is. Halbrand speaks to the Warg in what sounds like Black Speech but honestly… sounds just as butchered as the Elvish in this show. He then has full control of the Warg—and a new friend. 

In the Grey Havens, we discover that Elrond survived his fall. He seeks advice from Círdan, the shipwright. In the next scene, it’s back to Gil-galad who is writing to Celebrimbor to tell him that Halbrand is Sauron, the fact Guyladriel so willingly left out. The king continues to berate her for her actions, saying he should have her imprisoned for what she’s done, and when she even asks why not, Gil-galad replies, “I’m still considering.” 

What more do you need to consider??? 

She then has a sudden epiphany that Elrond would seek out someone older, wiser, and who would command more respect, “even from you,” directed at the king. They go to the Grey Havens, where Círdan and Elrond are discussing the rings, of which the older elf has all the knowledge despite only being told of them just then. The two hatch a plan to cast the rings into a bottomless crater in the ocean created during a battle ages ago—sounds a bit familiar…casting rings into something…

Gil-galad and Guyladriel then turn up, but the latter asks for “one more chance to reason with my friend.” She enters the room in which Elrond is sitting and tells him she is there to “coax [him] willingly, and if not, then the king will remove [him] by force.” They also discuss the rings, of which Guyladriel says she knows they are free of Sauron’s influence, to which Elrond replies, “Are you?” 

Give this man a medal, please. He knows what’s up. 

Back to The Stranger and Nori, who have caught the one following them: Poppy. She brings with her maps and a message that states one must remember “The Walking Song” in order to find the proper direction they need to go. 

Círdan is out on a boat, about to drop the rings into the underwater crater when they fly back out. He then decides to disregard the entire plan and keep the rings. THE SEA IS ALWAYS RIGHT! 

The rest of the episode is Halbrand cutting a deal with Adar, saying he can go to the elves because he has their trust, find the new form Sauron has taken, and give that information back to him so Adar can attack them with his army, but he must release Halbrand, who vows “to serve the Lord of Mordor.” 

Back in Lindon, Gil-galad is singing with the other elves congregated about, proclaiming the rings are gone and that they will return to their homeland when Círdan appears wearing one of the rings. He offers the king the two, and Elrond yells out. They fall, and one of the rings tumbles over to Guyladriel’s feet. She picks it up and puts it on her finger. The three now wear the rings, mirroring the scene from the Fellowship of the Ring prologue. 

It ends with Halbrand turning up at Eregion, where Celebrimbor stands with another elf (assistant?) who asks if they should permit him to enter. 

Rings of Power may look pretty on the surface, especially being the most expensive show ever made, but all in all, it’s a total slog to get through with no real stakes or compelling characters to hold one’s interest. Save your sanity and don’t even hate watch.