Review: The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power – Season 2, Episode 2, “Where the Stars are Strange”

Television Reviews

***DISCLAIMER: CONTAINS SPOILERS***

Episode 2 begins with Guyladriel and Elrond, the only character in this show who has sense. The two are arguing, Elrond berating her for being so easily manipulated by Sauron and now doing the same to Gil-galad. 

Back to the dwarves. Durin IV and Durin III have argued, and the latter has disowned the former for not siding with him. Disa and Durin are at a market buying food, where they bicker about “tightening their purse strings” before a sudden earthquake occurs. The giant bridge collapses, and the tunnels letting in light (that helps grow their food) close up, flooding the entire city into darkness. 

The scene changes to Guyladriel having a hallucination in which she’s having a chat with Celebrimbor, who says he’s had a “most interesting visitor.” Oh, who could that possibly be?? Then, suddenly, vines begin to creep and grow along the ground, curling their way up Celebrimbor as everything turns red. He then begins to recite the first few lines from the very poem at the beginning of The Lord of the Rings: 

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, 

Nine for mortal men doomed to die. 

This then flits back to Guyladriel in a meeting where, as she comes out of her stupor, still twisting her ring, she hears one line: “It would be wise to attack Adar from the east.”

Gil-galad addresses her, again, as “commander,” to which she replies that they should send ships to attack from the west. This lady has no freaking idea how to lead an army. Stop pretending. Everyone else leaves once the meeting is adjourned, then the king says, and this is an actual line of dialogue from the show, “One does not need the eyes of an eagle to see that your thoughts have flown far afield.” 

So poetic, so much like Tolkien’s effortlessly beautiful prose…

After more of that utterly annoying R rolling, Guyladriel worries Sauron has gotten to Eregion, to which Gil-galad assures her that it is well protected by the rivers and thick stone walls. Oh yes, that’ll keep the Dark Lord out, all right. She fondles her ring again, then tells the king that after putting on the ring, she can see visions of potential futures. The reply is another repurposed line from The Fellowship of the Ring when Frodo speaks to Galadriel at her Mirror: “The ring has kindled your ability to see which has not yet come to pass.”  

Then, suddenly, Gil-galad is an expert on Sauron and explains how he, too, can see visions and knows how manipulative Sauron is. Guyladriel is told never to seek out Sauron again because of these reasons, but, of course, she comes back with her retort: “He knows my mind, and I know his. That is why I must face him.” And she goes on to say how “I alone can slay him.” Yes, we know how much you wish to “slay” him…

They do come to a compromise, though, that Guyladriel is permitted to face Sauron only if she has someone with her. 

Now, in Eregion, a random servant girl goes to meet Halbrand/Sauron outside to tell him to that upon no account will Celebrimbor speak with him and that he must leave. She notices when Halbrand/Sauron turns his back to her that he is injured, and once back inside, tries to use this to convince Celebrimbor to allow him entrance, yet, AND THANK GOD, Celebrimbor sees sense and refuses. There’s a random line before the scene changes stating, “Messages from Lindon should arrive any day,” to which one wonders how the heck he knows this information, But this is only to remind the audience of the messenger sent by Gil-galad earlier, who now lies dead, with the message destroyed by… guess who?? Insert a short still scene of Halbrand smirking. It does also beg the question how he (Sauron) also knew of this messenger and the route he was taking. 

It then cuts to the Easterlings in Rhûn. This introduces the Dark Wizard character, who is nameless, yet some cannot help but think of Saruman in The Two Towers. A ritual is performed with blood that brings back… guess who’s back?? Back again?? Feminem!! Oh, and there’s moths; remember those? Feminem tells the Dark Wizard that Sauron is gaining power and has a new form, yet has said nothing of “The Stranger” when, after this, he states, “The Stranger will soon harness his power.” 

Why bring her back if you know all this? Especially after his line, “The blood I wasted to bring you before me was spent on more useful servants.” If he knew this already, then why waste the blood?? Then Mask Man who we’ve seen tracking the Harfoots and The Stranger/Totally Not Gandalf steps forward and says he can retrieve the Stranger, as long as he (the Dark Wizard) “Cures the curse upon his flesh.” 

What curse?? And the Dark Wizard doubts this, basically saying, what can a mere mortal do? Oh, and he says, “acolyte.” 

Poppy and Nori attempt to guess The Stranger/Totally Not Gandalf’s name by randomly shouting out names to him. His reply to them after a while of this is, “No one can give you a name. It is already yours.” Ummm… who wants to tell him? People are named after other people. Parents name their kids; otherwise, nobody would have a name. Suddenly, they hear horse hooves, and they scatter to hide. Poppy and Nori hide under a cloak-like cloth, showing them looking through the material at their trackers. Sound familiar?? Like when Sam tumbled down the hill, and Frodo darted after him, and they hid from the Easterlings under the Elven cloak, which blends in with any environment? Remember?? 

Returning to Khazad-dûm, there is now no light, which kills the plants, and now the Dwarves are on the brink of starving. Since when did Dwarves become vegetarians? Disa and a few other female Dwarves are tasked to “sing to help them find a safe passage.” But the singing causes the last tunnel streaming in light to collapse, thus plunging everything into further darkness, to which Dwarves are suddenly averse. After this, Disa is before the king and literally berates him for not speaking with his son. Durin III is off doing something he’s never done, mining with the other Dwarves, and the others make fun of him for his incompetence. There’s a tussle, and afterwards, when he’s home, he and Disa argue… about food. 

Now, back to Elrond in the Grey Havens; this is continuing the first scene at the start of the episode—which, why the hell start with a snippet, then bring back the rest later?? He’s sanding down wood when Guyladriel appears to try to convince him to accompany her to Eregion. She’s not permitted to go on her own unless she has someone trustworthy to go with. Elrond is reluctant, and after even “The Commander of the Northern Armies” admits that she was deceived, stating, quote, “Under his hand, I was played like a harp to a melody not of my choosing.” To which Elrond replies, “It was entirely of your choosing.” 

Elrond. RESPECT. He’s my favorite in this whole awful show; he’s the ONLY ONE who sees ANY sense! 

After this, Elrond goes to Círdan, who is now shown shaving…with a fancy shell-looking thing, for advice. The shipwright suddenly appears to be under an influence when he is deemed the wisest, yet this character is only about as wise as the writers of this show, which is next to not at all. They basically butcher Gandalf’s “The One Ring” argument in that if he (Gandalf) were to possess the ring, even if for supposed good, he would become a tyrant. It’s argued here that beautiful things should not be feared, even if they possess power. These rings aren’t even “The One Ring,” yet they’re being portrayed as corrupted and enticing in a similar fashion. Funny because “The One Ring” corruption is based on shell shock, or PTSD, as it’s known now, experienced by the men during WWI, in which Tolkien himself fought. 

Back to the Harfoots in the East. They’ve found a well and have attached an alarm contraption to it so whenever anyone goes to bring up water, it rings a bell set above it. As the bell is ringing when Poppy “female Sam” is getting herself some water, The Stranger discovers a staff very similar to the one in his dreams and picks it up. Instantaneously, or rather because these fool Harfoots made a racket with their stupid alarm system, the Easterlings hunting them appear and attack. The Stranger/Totally Not Gandalf creates a giant dust devil with his newly acquired staff, yet he still cannot control his powers; thus, all but him are blown away by the force of the wind. The staff also disintegrates in the same fashion as Gandalf’s did in The Fellowship of the Ring when he’s facing the Balrog in Moria. 

Back in Eregion (at night), Celebrimbor asks his random servant girl if Halbrand/Sauron is still in the city. Random servant girl says in reply, “The night is cold; shall I bring him a shawl?” Girl, you’re going to make Guyladriel jealous moving in on her man. She killed an ice troll in under a minute, ya know. Celebrimbor does end up going to meet Halbrand/Sauron to tell him to leave, to which the reply is, “She said you’d say that.” 

By “she,” Celebrimbor assumes Guyladriel and asks if he (Halbrand/Sauron) has spoken to her, and his response is, “Haven’t you?” 

They have an utterly pointless conversation not worth repeating, but it causes Celebrimbor to allow Halbrand/Sauron inside, where the latter is given food as the former is prattling on whilst getting all teary about how the rings have “saved them,” expelling the sickness from the tree that was so dire in the first season. Then Halbrand/Sauron tells Celebrimbor to make rings for the race of men, but, of course, the latter is hesitant, saying, “Men are not elves.” It’s funny, though, because in the books, Celebrimbor is a very complex, interesting character who did not have any assistance in making the rings, yet he’s turned into an emotional old queen in this bastardization of an “adaptation.”

Then, suddenly, Halbrand/Sauron disappears and emerges from the furnace, looking like Jesus (totally intentional), and reveals himself as Annatarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, “The Sharer of Gifts.” Yes, he rolls the r’s when he speaks his name and essentially tells Celebrimbor how evil he is, and the imbecile goes right along with it, believing Annatar to be a being sent from the Valar. 

The final scene is between Gil-galad and Guyladriel, who was summoned to meet him. The king tells her that he has permitted her to go to Celebrimbor on the condition that she take with her “five of their bravest elves.” When she thanks him for reconsidering, Gil-galad says it was not his doing, and the camera shows Elrond standing beside him. He is also tasked with not only accompanying but leading the group. 

COME ON ELROND; STAY STRONG; DO NOT RELENT; HOLD THE LINE!!! I have a feeling, though, that Guyladriel will reassert herself as “commander” and take over this whole thing. Stupid cow. Stupid writers. This show is stupid. I had forgotten to mention just how AWFUL the costuming in The Rings of Power is and how the people they chose to play elves LOOK NOTHING LIKE ELVES.