Tiana’s Bayou Adventure Opens Tomorrow and Park Hoppin’ Will Be There

Theme Parks

The big day is here, and Disney isn’t prepared. Tomorrow will be the official opening of Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, the Disney World ride that is replacing Splash Mountain, which has been deemed racist by… nobody, to my knowledge, or at least nobody outside of the woker than woke halls of Disney. And, as per the Disney Parks information website AllEars.net, Tiana’s Bayou Adventure was drained this morning. This should be surprising, but it’s not; the ride has had a disastrous few weeks during its preview period, where journalists and online influencers were invited to take it for a spin and hype it up online. The attraction constantly broke down, with riders having to be evacuated, and some of the animatronics didn’t work properly. Disney even had a new status for the ride added to their Annual Passholders app. In other words, it doesn’t look like this thing is ready for prime time, but Disney is pushing forward anyway.

Hi from Magic Kingdom! TOMORROW is opening day for Tiana’s Bayou Adventure…and the ride is currently drained this morning. pic.twitter.com/SbtqnRP3hD

— AllEars.Net (@AllEarsNet) June 27, 2024

This is the part in every article I write about Tiana’s Bayou Adventure where I bring up that Splash Mountain was the most popular theme park ride in the world, and Disney threw it away to virtue signal. The cavalcade of disasters befalling Tiana’s Bayou Adventure is funny and satisfying because Disney deserves this; replacing Splash Mountain is pure idiocy, and it’s a prime example of a sanctimonious company not caring what their customers want and pushing ahead with their obnoxious messaging. And it doesn’t look like it’s going to work out too well for them because they didn’t even bother to make sure the ride was running properly before unveiling it. Contrasted with Universal Orlando and its Epic Universe, which looks very cool (especially the Universal Monsters section), it’s downright embarrassing.

However, if you’re enjoying it as much as I am, you can tune in to Park Hoppin’ tomorrow, where Krista and Drunk 3PO will be livestreaming the grand opening of Tiana’s Bayou Adventure. Be there for the laughs, the tears, and what I’m sure will be long waits while the ride is haphazardly repaired throughout the day.