Charlie Kaufman Says Netflix Didn’t Ruin Movies: ‘Studios Ruined Movies’

I’ve been a movie goer since the 80’s. According to my mom, my first in cinema experience was Disney’s Cinderella. I made it through just about the whole movie until the very end when I bolted from my seat and ran down to the front of the theater where some other kids were apparently playing. My first actual solid movie memory is from 1983 standing under a double feature matinee board that said Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. My dad had stayed in line all night to make sure I’d get to see it opening day. After the movie he got me a treasure trove of Star Wars toys so I could continue the story on my own. Growing up, my mom exposed me to classic cinema, ie. 1930’s and upwards. Suffice it to say, I grew up watching everything. I love movies. For 80 years it was generally agenda free and true escapism.

Then the 21st century started and leftism decided it was tired of being subtle. It was time to go full tilt agenda and subvert the culture as America had known it. But the left was not the only thing that ruined movies. Good old capitalism is not innocent in the ruination of cinema, for greed delivered the second blow that ruined the experience of going to the movies itself, making it a truly unpleasant perfect storm. I’ve watched ticket prices go from $4 matinee, $6 evening to whatever god awful prices they are depending on where you live. For me, it’s $10-15, and I’m not even guaranteed to get my money’s worth of entertainment. I don’t think I need to explain how terrible concession prices are (and yeah, I was the kid who’d sneak McDonalds into theaters back in the day when I’d go to the movies on a Friday after school). So let’s see, everything costs more than ever before, and the movie might suck. What else can they do to ruin my good time? Make me choose a seat before I even step foot in the theater itself, all because some jackass wants to reserve a seat online now.

F…U…C…K THAT!

Assigned seating was the last fucking straw. Going to the movies is dead to me. It’s not fun, and it’s not worth my time. I know there is a strong movie going contingent here, but you can go, I’m not. I don’t give two shits if a movie “has to be seen on the screen as a director intends it” or “the sound is so incredible to make you feel like you are there”. Fuck that. Directors and their visions can go suck two dicks and take a third in the back hole. If your story and characters suck, then the whole thing is going to suck, and if it’s going to end up sucking, I’d rather be at home where popcorn and drinks are cheap (not to mention taste better) and I can get up to take a piss whenever I want and pause the movie. I’ve got a nice TV, a comfortable chair, and nice climate control in my home. In this day and age that makes for a more enjoyable experience.

Oh…and if you go to the movies…enjoy a chance at bringing home bed bugs…because people are disgusting unclean asshats nowadays.

Rant over.