My First Short Film

It was beautiful, wholesome, heart of gold.
Very Hallmark Channel. I like that it was a silent movie.

I like the people on this site that try their hand at film-making or being an author/writer, or making video games, etc. Sometimes, I see hater comments on their channels, but at least they are going for it. They are trying. I like that.

As someone who works in film production (adult genre), from a technical standpoint there is much room for improvement, mostly when it comes to the cinematography and editing. The montage of him getting dressed isn’t cut at the right tempo and that last guitar note should be on the moment he closes the door or with an L cut on the first shot of the next scene, which would assist the organic flow between scenes.

Some establishing shots would be good and in general there are too many narrow angles used. Try working with wider angles, which will give you a better sense of time and place. In this case, you could even use it as a narrative vehible. You start with wider angles, which make the characters feel smaller, breaking those up only for closeups of the montage shots and his face when he’s nervous or important details like his fingers nervously tapping. Scenes which show his direct emotional state. You want to draw attention to those. Wide angles will make the characters look smaller, which can feed into the idea that he’s nervous. When you’re nervous, you feel vulnerable. Then narrow in as the date progresses and he gains his courage and confidence. The shot with her putting her hand on his is a good one, since it gives her an active role. There is some seemingly unnatural blur around him in some of the restaurant shots, like a really narrow focal range, but it feels digital. That’s a popular stylistic element these days, overused in Hollywood even. I think everyone’s favorite around here Zack Snyder was the first mainstream director to really use narrow focal range shots in big budget films. It can be effective, but generally more in closeup shots. The thing about these shots, is that they feel unnatural. They don’t match how our eyes focus. When we look at something up close, i.e. the hairs on the back of your hand, the background does blur, but it does so in a kind of stereoscopic way. Since that would look bad on film (and can’t really be done in a single lens), people tend to opt for a nice bokeh instead. That is more effective than the kind of washed out blur you used there.

The most important gear you can buy is lenses and lighting. Invest in that and experiment a bit, see what you can come up with. Personally, I like anamorphic lenses, but they take a bit of practice. I use these here https://amzn.to/3Ktesgh
Be warned, they are pricey, but the shots are absolutely beautiful.
This video is an excellent guide

With lenses like that and proper editing, you’ll get a much more cinematic feel.

Critique aside, this is a really good first step and a million times better than my first ones. Keep at it!