WWE Survivor Series Results (2023)
WWE Survivor Series Results
Danny Damage | Nov 27, 2023 |
WWE Survivor Series results and commentary from Danny Damage!
WWE Survivor Series Results (2023)
Another gimmick WWE show means another opportunity for WWE to dampen the force of their main event. Building anticipation to a War Games match by having the women’s tribute edition kick the night off isn’t as impactful as WWE has convinced itself it is in the last six or so years of the Women’s Revolution. I know War Games is relatively new to the main roster, but see also: the Royal Rumble, Hell in a Cell, Elimination Chamber, Money in the Bank, and so on.
As soon as the camera showed Corey Graves and Michael Cole, we were slapped in the face with advertising via the bags of chips that were centre stage and not the WWE personalities talking and laying out our evening. I was hoping that words like “balance” and “subtle” might show up at WWE HQ now that the evil Vince McMahon is being gradually nudged out of the door, but it seems we’re having no such luck. They could have had some fans/plants on the front row/behind them going to town on a couple of packs of product, and it would have looked a lot more natural.
Also, it’s a good job that two main event feuds have coincidentally built up to support multi-person War Games matches… again.
Women’s War Games Match
Winners: Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, Bianca Belair & Shotzi (pinfall)
Becky and Bayley started things off and attempted to have some form of regular wrestling match. The crowd started chanting for tables early on, but they got Dakota Kai handing Bayley a kendo stick through the cage instead.
Bianca Belair now wears two thinner hair braids, which she still tries to flail around like weapons from a J-RPG or Shōnen anime. I’m sure it sounded cool in the back when brainstorming, but the majority of her hair spots look really cooperated/fake/forced to make Belair look ridiculously strong, no matter the cost.
Charlotte Flair brought her Bambi on ice-style of wrestling, which people still blindly coo at and cheer on. The crowd persisted with the chant for tables, which Asuka finally popped them with when she made her entrance.
Once all the lasses were in the match, the bell finally rang, and what was going on in the ring actually mattered. We got about ten minutes of chaos from every direction until Becky and co. isolated Bayley, hit her with their finishing moves, and set up Becky to Manhandle Slam Bayley off the top and through a table.
Gunther vs. The Miz (Intercontinental Title)
Winner: Gunther (submission)
The Miz came out of his corner swinging and looking more aggressive than he’s ever been. Miz managed to lure Gunther to the outside, where he wrapped the big man’s legs around the ring post, a la Bret Hart. This didn’t last long, though, and Gunther swatted Miz to the mat before tormenting him for a bit.
Every opening he found, Miz would kick or grab Gunther’s knee to chop him down momentarily, but that wasn’t nearly enough. The Miz resorted to getting some low blows in while the referee was replacing a turnbuckle pad, but the Skull Crushing Finale that followed only managed to get a two-count.
After Miz’s scheme failed, an enraged Gunther smashed Miz to the ground and forced him to tap out with a Boston Crab/Lion-tamer.
Dragon Lee vs. Santos Escobar
Winner: Santos Escobar (pinfall)
Dragon Lee was inserted into this match during the previous night’s Smackdown. It was supposed to be Carlito vs. Escobar, but sneak attacks by Escobar left Carlito unable to compete.
Escobar’s villainous behaviour is over with the crowd, and his current feud with Rey Mysterio and the LWO has given him the chance to sink his teeth into something. When Escobar tugged at/ripped Dragon Lee’s mask, the fans booed the absolute shit out of him. A couple of small pockets even shouted, “Fuck you, Santos,” a few times.
Lee put up a fight, but Escobar outclassed him in every regard and finished him with a Phantom Driver. There is nothing wrong with Dragon Lee or any of his work; the problem is that he doesn’t really stand out, and he’s at severe risk of being lost in an industry-wide sea of Lucha masks and gymnastic tricks.
Rhea Ripley vs. Zoey Stark (WWE Women’s Title?)
Winner: Rhea Ripley (pinfall)
These two hard-hitters knocked each other around until they spilled to the floor, and Ripley threw Stark into the ring post. Zoey fought back and showed us some of what she can do, but Rhea overwhelmed her and ended things with a headbutt and her Rip-tide.
Men’s War Games Match
Winners: Cody Rhodes, Seth Rollins, Jay Uso, Sami Zayn & Randy Orton (pinfall)
Heading into the main event, the faces were concerned that Randy Orton wouldn’t show up and they’d be dangerously outnumbered. Cody assures his team that Orton will make it, and they head out with just four men. From their reaction, the crowd was convinced they were getting CM Punk as a replacement. Ouch.
Rollins and Balor were the first two in. They put on a five-minute singles match before other participants joined them.
If the women’s War Games variant didn’t remind the audience that fuck-all matters in the match until the last person gets in there, waiting around for Orton/Punk to appear punched you on the nose with this fact.
The Judgment Day weren’t 100% sure if Drew McIntyre was going to be a team player or not, as Drew had the single goal of getting his hands on Jey Uso. However, they remained on the same page and posed a legitimate threat to the babyface team.
Cody brought a cowbell in with him and made it “donk!” on a couple of heads. Dom Mysterio’s initial flurry saw him swinging like a manager and then getting beaten down by everyone when he bit off more than he could chew.
This wasn’t enough for Cody and pals to keep their heads above water, and the 4-on-5 disadvantage soon became painfully obvious. When the countdown began for what should have been Orton’s spot, there was nothing, and it looked like they were on their own.
Instead, Rhea Ripley ran down the aisle with a referee and Damien Priest’s Money in the Bank briefcase. As Seth Rollins was KO’d in the ring, Ripley saw the opportunity to get the belt on Priest. This idea came to a screeching halt when Orton’s music finally hit, before the cash-in was made official.
The heels swarmed Orton as the bell finally rang to properly start this thing, and Randy got to showcase all his moves and how he can still pull them off with ease. There were RKOs-a-plenty, including JD McDonagh being hurled off the top of the cage and into the waiting maw of Orton. The match eventually ended after Cody hit Priest with a Cross Rhodes and pinned him.
The good guys celebrated in the ring, and the crowd was well behind the outcome. Surprisingly, the lack of CM Punk didn’t piss them off as much as expected/as they were at AEW All Out.
But then, they were rewarded for their patience.
When it looked like the cameras were about to cut and the night was over, CM Punk’s music hit the arena, and people lost their shit. Punk stayed at the top of the ramp, allowing the guys in the ring to continue celebrating and leaving us with one of those wonderful cliffhanger things we used to get on a regular basis.
There were obviously rumours going around that Punk might show up in Chicago, but nothing was set in stone. WWE re-signing him is a shocker, considering WWE fired him on his wedding day, and AEW/Tony Khan offering a safe space from that sort of thing and (mentally) wrapping everyone in cotton wool. Tony Khan’s uselessness forcing Punk back into the arms of the WWE is one of the funniest things about AEW’s four years of financial life support.
I wondered why Cole and Graves had no problem throwing the names of Chris Jericho, Ric Flair, Edge, and Sting out on commentary tonight; it’s because WWE sees AEW as nothing to worry about. There might even be a little pity in there, too.
All in all, it was a good show. We didn’t need two War Games matches in the space of two hours and fifty minutes, but everything else fit nicely. A traditional Survivor Series elimination match to start the night would have been lovely.
My main gripe with Survivor Series is how over-the-top WWE is going with adverts. Yes, sponsorship money is a good thing; I’m not saying it isn’t. Whoring yourself, your talent, and your audience’s time in the way that Vince/WWE has done historically isn’t. There’s no need to drop trow, bend over, and take all that. Bloody hell.
The first match had the Ruffles logo flying everywhere onscreen, making War Games look like a kid’s fun house and not like a battle zone. We also went backstage to see talent that didn’t make it onto the card clowning around for the sake of Ruffles. Gambling is cool because WWE/Draft Kings get away with constantly pushing that crap on a family show. Jay Uso and Liv Morgan walked through a sterile, manufactured Capital One live read/lame skit. Slim Jim had their logo zipping around the screen and arena for the entirety of Rhea Ripley vs. Zoey Stark. They showed the LA Knight Slim Jim commercial beforehand, too, which would have sold all that WWE was going to sell tonight; no overkill (or the New Day riding Knight’s coattails) needed.
That aside, the dominant force in the wrestling business is abundantly clear: the pulling power of WWE is stronger than it’s been for a while. With all the stars returning and lining up, the 2024 Royal Rumble is looking really interesting.
– OLDER RESULTS –
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